I just revisited my blog entries from 2007. Made me smile to think of all that has happened between then and now. Makes me giggle to know that I still have the same thirst for light, love, and self-expression.....just now with a bit more levity and humor than before. So now that I'm less afraid of my own reflection and more willing to take risks, I think I'm going to write some more. Themes will probably still be on Love, Life, Relationships, Careers, yada yada.....but just with a whole new perspective.
Good times :)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Leadership....
So Ironic - Here are a few excerpts from my application to business school. Now I'm actually fulfilling my goal that I set out for myself more than four years ago....
The Application (Excerpts of the essay written in 2005):
In my seven years in brand management at Johnson & Johnson, I’ve learned what makes a good leader – listening, motivating, adapting, and creating a collaborative environment that fosters creativity and passion. These are qualities that I now take with me in everything I do.
But leadership is not all about cheerleading. It’s also about motivating others to accomplish and deliver results. Motivation takes charisma, patience, and passion.
Accomplishments are the result of having enough self-confidence to complete a daunting task, impact change, or challenge the status quo. Therefore, just the act of gaining self-confidence, is an accomplishment. I gained self-confidence early on in my college career, but have since found several ways in which to use it to impact positive change in myself and in others.
I learned how to run in 1999. Up until that year, I couldn’t even complete a full lap around the track. Nevertheless, I was determined to train and complete what would become the hardest and most rewarding 26.2 miles of my life – the Napa Valley marathon. Waking up at 6 o’ clock every morning to train was not easy. But, with every strike of the pavement, I learned to train my mind and my body to run miles away from my doubts and fears, and closer toward my goals and convictions. I crossed the finish line in 4 hours and 20 minutes. With that last step, I discovered that the difference between failure and accomplishment sometimes comes down to a single step.
When I first stepped into my career at Johnson & Johnson, I was faced with some initial skepticism from my co-workers. Because my background was in Law and Communications, they questioned my business capabilities. Confidence helped me overcome this skepticism and gain momentum. I focused on my strengths, learned everything I could about marketing, and ignored my inner-critic. In just three months time, I earned my coworker’s and management’s approval and trust. This accomplishment was critical to my career success. It taught me that I could reach inside myself for the strength I need to succeed. Four years later, I still am very proud of those first 3 months.
The more I learned about my own capabilities, the more I realized how I could challenge the status quo and affect positive change. I want to do this is by developing a career focused on helping people.
Ultimately my goal is to merge my passion to help others with my understanding of corporate culture. I aspire to start and run a business focused on employee training, people development, and one-to-one career/life counseling.
Most businesses rely on monetary results, positive bottom lines, and impressive top line sales to gain accolades and attract future investors. I see a huge opportunity for companies to better hone their soft skills – organizational behavior, people management, employee development and career counseling. The consulting company I would like to start would focus on this human element of business – it would enable employees to feel more connected to their employer, better prepared for immanent changes, and more valued. The return on the investment for the employer would be more efficient, effective, and loyal employees.
So many corporations have lost their soul. They have forgotten the human element of business.
I want to put people before profits. I want to reignite passion and sense of purpose to business. If I am successfull at this, people will be more productive not because they are told, but because they believe in themselves and the companies for which they work.
The Application (Excerpts of the essay written in 2005):
In my seven years in brand management at Johnson & Johnson, I’ve learned what makes a good leader – listening, motivating, adapting, and creating a collaborative environment that fosters creativity and passion. These are qualities that I now take with me in everything I do.
But leadership is not all about cheerleading. It’s also about motivating others to accomplish and deliver results. Motivation takes charisma, patience, and passion.
Accomplishments are the result of having enough self-confidence to complete a daunting task, impact change, or challenge the status quo. Therefore, just the act of gaining self-confidence, is an accomplishment. I gained self-confidence early on in my college career, but have since found several ways in which to use it to impact positive change in myself and in others.
I learned how to run in 1999. Up until that year, I couldn’t even complete a full lap around the track. Nevertheless, I was determined to train and complete what would become the hardest and most rewarding 26.2 miles of my life – the Napa Valley marathon. Waking up at 6 o’ clock every morning to train was not easy. But, with every strike of the pavement, I learned to train my mind and my body to run miles away from my doubts and fears, and closer toward my goals and convictions. I crossed the finish line in 4 hours and 20 minutes. With that last step, I discovered that the difference between failure and accomplishment sometimes comes down to a single step.
When I first stepped into my career at Johnson & Johnson, I was faced with some initial skepticism from my co-workers. Because my background was in Law and Communications, they questioned my business capabilities. Confidence helped me overcome this skepticism and gain momentum. I focused on my strengths, learned everything I could about marketing, and ignored my inner-critic. In just three months time, I earned my coworker’s and management’s approval and trust. This accomplishment was critical to my career success. It taught me that I could reach inside myself for the strength I need to succeed. Four years later, I still am very proud of those first 3 months.
The more I learned about my own capabilities, the more I realized how I could challenge the status quo and affect positive change. I want to do this is by developing a career focused on helping people.
Ultimately my goal is to merge my passion to help others with my understanding of corporate culture. I aspire to start and run a business focused on employee training, people development, and one-to-one career/life counseling.
Most businesses rely on monetary results, positive bottom lines, and impressive top line sales to gain accolades and attract future investors. I see a huge opportunity for companies to better hone their soft skills – organizational behavior, people management, employee development and career counseling. The consulting company I would like to start would focus on this human element of business – it would enable employees to feel more connected to their employer, better prepared for immanent changes, and more valued. The return on the investment for the employer would be more efficient, effective, and loyal employees.
So many corporations have lost their soul. They have forgotten the human element of business.
I want to put people before profits. I want to reignite passion and sense of purpose to business. If I am successfull at this, people will be more productive not because they are told, but because they believe in themselves and the companies for which they work.
Value Yourself!
In the last 6 months, I've done a lot of work on myself. I've spent my "time currency" primarily thinking, meditating, doing yoga, running, reading thoughtful books, seeing an incredible life coach, enrolling in (and taking classes for) a gender studies certificate program, spending extended time with my close family and friends, going to various mountain cabins, walking my dogs, and simply living.
I've gone to a few funerals too. My step-dad's funeral was last week. He was like a real dad to me. He loved me so intensely. He cared for me. He helped raise me. He has been sick for the last 3 months with various spine infections, surgeries, and complications… now he is peacefully asleep. I've learned so much from him and invested a lot of time with him, that I'm also at peace with his death. I’m sad that he’s gone and I miss him everyday….but I learned that I have to start living my life in accordance to my values because no one is guaranteed a tomorrow. He did just that….He lived a life according to his values - family happiness, helpfulness, and frienship. He died without any regrets.
I think that is why I feel happier and more at peace than I ever have. First, I have dedicated the last 6 months to finding my values. It’s not that I didn’t have some sense of what was important to me before, but I’ve done the hard work it takes to really: listen to myself, quiet the much-to-dominant voices of “society shoulds” to do this. Then, once I learned what it is I value, I needed to embrace those values, and figure out what I need to change in my life so I can live a life free of any regrets. I needed to start doing making some changes, stop road blocks to my own happiness, and continue doing some things that were working well.
We will all have different values, but in case you want to know what mine are, here they are (and yes, I’m putting it out there because I’m so comfortable with them, with my choices, with myself):
Inner Harmony: For me this means living a life of integrity, honesty, and consistency with my values. It is accepting inevitable change and adapting accordingly. It is recognizing when change is needed and acting on that change. It is about having the willingness to challenge the status quo for what you believe. It is having an open mind - recognizing others’ wisdom and continuing to learn even when you complete your formal education. It is a confident with who you are and comfortable in your own skin. It is being content and peaceful within.
Freedom: For me, this means living a life in sync with your values (creating the time to do so). I must have time to balance mind, body, and soul. I need to continually learn. I need to by active for my health. I need to be in tune with my connection to something larger than me. That balance is crucial for me.
Family Happiness: I value relationships – family and close friends. . I employ a strong magnetism to ensure that these people are strong and happy
Professionally: Even at work, I am a great team builder and a great leader (though I also work very well on my own). I create effective working relationships because I befriend my coworkers – learn what motivates them, what matters to them most, and their optimal working style. I do this because I continue to learn from and be inspired by my solid personal relationships with family and close friends. Ultimately, I learn how to be a friend to my coworkers and they reward that friendship with amazing business results.
Health: For me this is physical and emotional well-being. I function at optimal performance when I am mentally and physically enlightenment and stimulation. I practice being healthy by ensuring that I have a strong spiritual connection, a clear understanding of my own purpose, and emotional and physical welfare
Helpfulness: I have inherent gift to teach, inspire and coach others. I do so because doing so nourishes the core of my existence and enables me to positively impact my environment, my community, my family and my friends
Professionally: I recognized early on that Neutrogena needed a new hire-training program to facilitate new hires’ acclimation into the company culture. I proposed a rich training curriculum to management, gained their approval and a $25,000 budget, and successfully implemented the program I designed. It met with enthusiastic support from participants, many of whom thanked me personally for easing their transition into the company. Not only did management express their gratitude, they extended the program indefinitely and included it as an annual training forum to all national and international members of the Neutrogena team. This accomplishment demonstrates my desire and ability to keep all five (5) values close to my heart and at the core of my being.
That’s all for now. Go ahead….value yourself too!!!!
I've gone to a few funerals too. My step-dad's funeral was last week. He was like a real dad to me. He loved me so intensely. He cared for me. He helped raise me. He has been sick for the last 3 months with various spine infections, surgeries, and complications… now he is peacefully asleep. I've learned so much from him and invested a lot of time with him, that I'm also at peace with his death. I’m sad that he’s gone and I miss him everyday….but I learned that I have to start living my life in accordance to my values because no one is guaranteed a tomorrow. He did just that….He lived a life according to his values - family happiness, helpfulness, and frienship. He died without any regrets.
I think that is why I feel happier and more at peace than I ever have. First, I have dedicated the last 6 months to finding my values. It’s not that I didn’t have some sense of what was important to me before, but I’ve done the hard work it takes to really: listen to myself, quiet the much-to-dominant voices of “society shoulds” to do this. Then, once I learned what it is I value, I needed to embrace those values, and figure out what I need to change in my life so I can live a life free of any regrets. I needed to start doing making some changes, stop road blocks to my own happiness, and continue doing some things that were working well.
We will all have different values, but in case you want to know what mine are, here they are (and yes, I’m putting it out there because I’m so comfortable with them, with my choices, with myself):
Inner Harmony: For me this means living a life of integrity, honesty, and consistency with my values. It is accepting inevitable change and adapting accordingly. It is recognizing when change is needed and acting on that change. It is about having the willingness to challenge the status quo for what you believe. It is having an open mind - recognizing others’ wisdom and continuing to learn even when you complete your formal education. It is a confident with who you are and comfortable in your own skin. It is being content and peaceful within.
Freedom: For me, this means living a life in sync with your values (creating the time to do so). I must have time to balance mind, body, and soul. I need to continually learn. I need to by active for my health. I need to be in tune with my connection to something larger than me. That balance is crucial for me.
Family Happiness: I value relationships – family and close friends. . I employ a strong magnetism to ensure that these people are strong and happy
Professionally: Even at work, I am a great team builder and a great leader (though I also work very well on my own). I create effective working relationships because I befriend my coworkers – learn what motivates them, what matters to them most, and their optimal working style. I do this because I continue to learn from and be inspired by my solid personal relationships with family and close friends. Ultimately, I learn how to be a friend to my coworkers and they reward that friendship with amazing business results.
Health: For me this is physical and emotional well-being. I function at optimal performance when I am mentally and physically enlightenment and stimulation. I practice being healthy by ensuring that I have a strong spiritual connection, a clear understanding of my own purpose, and emotional and physical welfare
Helpfulness: I have inherent gift to teach, inspire and coach others. I do so because doing so nourishes the core of my existence and enables me to positively impact my environment, my community, my family and my friends
Professionally: I recognized early on that Neutrogena needed a new hire-training program to facilitate new hires’ acclimation into the company culture. I proposed a rich training curriculum to management, gained their approval and a $25,000 budget, and successfully implemented the program I designed. It met with enthusiastic support from participants, many of whom thanked me personally for easing their transition into the company. Not only did management express their gratitude, they extended the program indefinitely and included it as an annual training forum to all national and international members of the Neutrogena team. This accomplishment demonstrates my desire and ability to keep all five (5) values close to my heart and at the core of my being.
That’s all for now. Go ahead….value yourself too!!!!
Spring
This is inspired by the wonderful author (and my personal Guru) Elizabeth Gilbert. I wrote this back in July 2007.
One of my favorite books makes a reference to Zen masters…saying “You cannot see your reflection in running water, only in still water.” I lived such confusion for so long, something was telling me it would be spiritually negligent of me to continue going in circles as I was going.
“What I wanted to do, actually was to give myself a retreat of solitude and stillness. When I look back at the years before the day I finally decided to give myself this retreat…I see a detailed chronicle of confusion. And the moment when I came to this metaphorical island all by myself was the very worst of that entire dark journey. The bottom of the pain and the middle of it.
I didn’t even know what I was going to really do with the time. I just knew that I vowed to myself to stick with it until something inside of me changed. It was my ultimate truth and reconciliation hearing.
Everyday I would observe my thoughts, my emotions, my reactions. The yogic sages say that all the pain of a human life is caused by words, as is all the joy. We create words to define our experiences and those words bring attendant emotions that jerk us around like dogs on a leash. We get seduced by our own mantras (I’m a failure…I’m lonely….I’m confused….I’m a failure…) and we become monuments to them. To stop talking for a while, to take a break from those everyday mantras, then…is to attempt to strip away the power of words, to stop choking ourselves with words, to liberate ourselves from our suffocating mantras.
In that state of solitude and silence, there was room now for everything hateful, everything fearful, to run across my empty mind. I felt like a junkie in detox - a pitiful parade of all my failings, my lies, my selfishness, jealousy, arrogance. But this much I knew – I never didn’t want to be there, and I never wished that anyone were there with me. I knew that I needed to do this and that I needed to do it alone.
Self acceptance and self forgiveness takes courage, consciousness and an open heart. You need the courage to see yourself as an entire package - the light and the dark of you. You need to know who this person is you are trying to forgive and love unconditionally. And that's where the consciousness seeps in. Consciousness is the little skeleton key that opens the door to living with intention....the intention to live today differently than yesterday. The intention to replace
hurt, anger, sadness and fear with endless opportunity, limitless power, and infinite love.
So I left that dark place and started walking toward the light. I looked into my heart, at my own goodness, and I saw its capacity. I saw that my heart was not even nearly full, not even after having taken in and tended to all those calamitous urchins of sorrow and anger and shame; my heart could easily have received and forgiven even more. Its love was infinite.
I think the woman I am now, about the life that I am now living, and about how much I always wanted to be a strong person and live this life, liberated from fear, expectations, and the need for external acceptance. I think of everything I endured before getting here and wonder if it was me - I mean, this happier, more balanced, and stronger me, who is now paving a path of her own – who pulled the other, younger, more confused and more struggling me forward during the last few years. And maybe it was this present and fully actualized me who was hovering for the last few years over that young, confused girl who whispered lovingly on July 3rd, “It’s okay. Everything will be ok. Everything will eventually bring you to a better place. To right here. Right to this moment, where I was always waiting in peace and contentment, always waiting for her to arrive and join me.”
I still have a ways to go. I still have some things to work out on my own. I know that contentment and happiness are not a stroke of luck, some things that just descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough. You fight for them, strive for them, insist upon them, and sometimes even travel on a journey all by yourself looking for them. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you’ve achieved a state (or even a glimmer) of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it; you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don’t, you will leak away you innate contentment.
I also know that you can select your thoughts the same way you can select your clothes you’re going to wear every day. This is a power you can cultivate. This is a Yogic path about disentangling the built-in glitches of the human condition, which (simplifying it - is the heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment. This is about recognizing a Self who is at peace - a supreme Self that is our true identity. Before you realize this true identity, say the Yogis, you will always be in despair, discontent, searching. They say that Yoga is the dedicated effort in self-mastery to haul your attention away from your brooding over the past and your nonstop worrying about the future so that you can seek, instead, a place of eternal presence from which you may regard yourself and your surroundings with poise and peace.
I know that this path that I chose, this little path on my island of discover, is leading me in the right direction – in the path of discovering peace, contentment, and love. I’m certain of that now. It took me a while but I’m beginning to trust this inner-self of mine.
One of my favorite books makes a reference to Zen masters…saying “You cannot see your reflection in running water, only in still water.” I lived such confusion for so long, something was telling me it would be spiritually negligent of me to continue going in circles as I was going.
“What I wanted to do, actually was to give myself a retreat of solitude and stillness. When I look back at the years before the day I finally decided to give myself this retreat…I see a detailed chronicle of confusion. And the moment when I came to this metaphorical island all by myself was the very worst of that entire dark journey. The bottom of the pain and the middle of it.
I didn’t even know what I was going to really do with the time. I just knew that I vowed to myself to stick with it until something inside of me changed. It was my ultimate truth and reconciliation hearing.
Everyday I would observe my thoughts, my emotions, my reactions. The yogic sages say that all the pain of a human life is caused by words, as is all the joy. We create words to define our experiences and those words bring attendant emotions that jerk us around like dogs on a leash. We get seduced by our own mantras (I’m a failure…I’m lonely….I’m confused….I’m a failure…) and we become monuments to them. To stop talking for a while, to take a break from those everyday mantras, then…is to attempt to strip away the power of words, to stop choking ourselves with words, to liberate ourselves from our suffocating mantras.
In that state of solitude and silence, there was room now for everything hateful, everything fearful, to run across my empty mind. I felt like a junkie in detox - a pitiful parade of all my failings, my lies, my selfishness, jealousy, arrogance. But this much I knew – I never didn’t want to be there, and I never wished that anyone were there with me. I knew that I needed to do this and that I needed to do it alone.
Self acceptance and self forgiveness takes courage, consciousness and an open heart. You need the courage to see yourself as an entire package - the light and the dark of you. You need to know who this person is you are trying to forgive and love unconditionally. And that's where the consciousness seeps in. Consciousness is the little skeleton key that opens the door to living with intention....the intention to live today differently than yesterday. The intention to replace
hurt, anger, sadness and fear with endless opportunity, limitless power, and infinite love.
So I left that dark place and started walking toward the light. I looked into my heart, at my own goodness, and I saw its capacity. I saw that my heart was not even nearly full, not even after having taken in and tended to all those calamitous urchins of sorrow and anger and shame; my heart could easily have received and forgiven even more. Its love was infinite.
I think the woman I am now, about the life that I am now living, and about how much I always wanted to be a strong person and live this life, liberated from fear, expectations, and the need for external acceptance. I think of everything I endured before getting here and wonder if it was me - I mean, this happier, more balanced, and stronger me, who is now paving a path of her own – who pulled the other, younger, more confused and more struggling me forward during the last few years. And maybe it was this present and fully actualized me who was hovering for the last few years over that young, confused girl who whispered lovingly on July 3rd, “It’s okay. Everything will be ok. Everything will eventually bring you to a better place. To right here. Right to this moment, where I was always waiting in peace and contentment, always waiting for her to arrive and join me.”
I still have a ways to go. I still have some things to work out on my own. I know that contentment and happiness are not a stroke of luck, some things that just descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough. You fight for them, strive for them, insist upon them, and sometimes even travel on a journey all by yourself looking for them. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you’ve achieved a state (or even a glimmer) of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it; you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don’t, you will leak away you innate contentment.
I also know that you can select your thoughts the same way you can select your clothes you’re going to wear every day. This is a power you can cultivate. This is a Yogic path about disentangling the built-in glitches of the human condition, which (simplifying it - is the heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment. This is about recognizing a Self who is at peace - a supreme Self that is our true identity. Before you realize this true identity, say the Yogis, you will always be in despair, discontent, searching. They say that Yoga is the dedicated effort in self-mastery to haul your attention away from your brooding over the past and your nonstop worrying about the future so that you can seek, instead, a place of eternal presence from which you may regard yourself and your surroundings with poise and peace.
I know that this path that I chose, this little path on my island of discover, is leading me in the right direction – in the path of discovering peace, contentment, and love. I’m certain of that now. It took me a while but I’m beginning to trust this inner-self of mine.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Inspiration Appetizer
"Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity" Gilda Radner
And so goes my life thus far.... Deliciously uncertain. Perfectly imperfect. Expectedly unexpected.
Here's a sneak peak of just a few things I've learned thus far:
And so goes my life thus far.... Deliciously uncertain. Perfectly imperfect. Expectedly unexpected.
Here's a sneak peak of just a few things I've learned thus far:
- It's not about shades of black, white, or gray. I, for one am on the relentless search for yellow and pink everywhere I go.
- It's not about men versus women. Consider just for a moment that we can all be queens and kings on the same fantastic, royal team.
- It's not about labelling yourself Jewish, Catholic, Atheist, etc. To me, it seems like the more effective way to self-realization is simply opening your eyes to the possibility of it all.
- And it's not about being good or bad, right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate. Instead, the focus on your OWN best self (whoever she/he is) seems to be just fine....perfect even.
I'll write about these topics and more in greater detail as the inspiration strikes. And that's what this blog is all about - The Delicious Uncertainty that Inspires an ever-expanding heart and mind.... A Life that is seemingly Limitless.
This blog is exactly what I need to continue nourishing my own soul, feeding that drive to live life extraordinarily, and quenching my hunger to inspire anyone willing to listen.
Delicious....
Enjoy!
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